Hemingway & Herriot

Hey! My name is Lily, and I am so glad you’re here.

I live in Atlanta, Georgia with the love of my life (Mike), my son (Will), and our 3 wanna-be-lap-dogs (Sawyer, Milledge, and Tropicalia). I am a general practice veterinarian, and I thank God every day for this job. Veterinary medicine connected me to some of my best friends, taught me so much about myself, and led me to my husband (I neutered his dog – not really that romantic!!)

I love to spend time with my family, whether that is sitting out on the porch with a glass of wine watching the sunset or going for a run with my son or my dogs. I have a minor in theatre and love nothing more than the sound of an orchestra tuning up. I love to travel, and introducing that to my son has just been the best. I’m obsessed with dogs, and helping people care for their pets has been a dream job. I love to read and write, and I’ve probably spent more money on books than anything else in my life.

I started this blog 8 years ago because I wanted to document my summer spent in India on a vet med trip. Despite all the grief that came after, I am so grateful I can go back to these pages and see in real time how much the person I was then has impacted the person I am now.

My hope is that this will be a space where I can continue to document life – the beautiful parts and the not so shiny parts. So much has happened in the 8 years since India – in the decade since I was a young veterinary student trying to figure out who I was.

In many ways, I am still trying to figure out who I am. Especially now as a parent trying to adapt to this very wonderful but very different normal. Motherhood has shown me that nobody really knows what they’re doing. Like so many things, we’re all just trying our best.

Throughout my pregnancy and early motherhood journey, I constantly felt like I was missing something. Was I the only one frantically googling the words the doctor was saying? Was I the only one who couldn’t keep the baby wrapped in the hospital swaddle? How exactly does keeping babies in your room reduce the risk of SIDS? Is there really a difference between day-time PJs and night-time PJs or is it just marketing?

Of course there are a million questions you have as a new parent, but I felt like something was wrong with me after several doctors brought up anxiety medicine. I started to get really frustrated because I felt like I was being pushed toward medication when all I wanted was information. Don’t get me wrong: there is NOTHING wrong with anxiety medication. But I balked at the insinuation that begging for information as I went through this huge life change was just a woman being anxious.

A great example of this was my trip to the OBGYN’s office some time during my 3rd trimester to rule out a UTI – simple, right? Well, I’d accidentally gone into the wrong building because this was a new location, so I was flustered, hot, and harried by the time I got to the right building 15 minutes late to my appointment. It was no surprise that my blood pressure was high.

They went on with the exam and during the measurement of my belly noted that the baby was measuring small. This could be for a number of reasons ranging from literally nothing (like the way he’s positioned) or something extremely serious (like low amniotic fluid). As a first time mom, I had no idea what this meant and was naturally concerned when they recommended an ultrasound to make sure the baby was ok. Great, let’s do it, does that happen now? No, the earliest we can fit you in is in 6 weeks…

6 weeks?? Are you kidding? 6 weeks of waiting when you’re telling me something might be wrong with my baby?

(Oh and by then it was time to recheck my blood pressure…)

Numerous experiences like this made me question if there really was something wrong with me. Was every other mother unfazed by all the unknown?

But after going through the rest of my pregnancy and postpartum journey, I’ve realized that it isn’t just me. There is a serious lack of education and support within healthcare, and there is a mentality shift toward throwing medication at every problem. I didn’t need anxiety medication in that scenario; I needed someone to explain what was going on inside my body. I needed resources. I needed support.

This created a stark contrast between the good doctors and the great doctors I had throughout my pregnancy. Our favorite by far, Dr. G, immediately recognized my fears the first time I met him. After telling him about my experience at my last appointment with the concerning numbers, I remember he immediately took me into his office, pulled up my chart, and explained to me how they measure these thing. He was clear in why he wasn’t concerned and what our follow-up steps would be. I was so relieved after that visit because I actually had information. I had been treated like a person, and my concerns were taken seriously.

Going through my maternity care experience completely changed the way I practice medicine myself. As a veterinarian, I am certainly guilty of answering a question quickly because I’ve answered it a million times. But for so many of my clients, this is their first experience with a new puppy or a sick cat.

So these days, I consciously make an effort to ensure my clients feel heard and supported. I am intentional about not seeming like I am in a rush to the next appointment. I patiently answer the same questions over and over all day long with the knowledge that I, too, had probably asked my doctors and nurses the same questions they’d heard all day. I take the time to explain our treatment plan and how we are going to measure success because I know what it’s like to feel like your concerns are being dismissed.

So many of my clients feel the same way I did – craving information and just wanting to make sure they are taking care of their pets to the best of their ability.

I want people to feel equipped and capable of taking care of their pets. I want other FTMs to feel equipped and capable of managing their pregnancy. I want moms to feel equipped and capable of taking care of their children.

I’m still figuring so much out – how to be a mom, how to be a working parent, how to be a wife who’s also a mother, how to still be a good dog mom now that I also have a 2-legged baby. But I’m working on giving myself more grace.

So many of us are just trying to get it right and not miss anything.

This little digital journal will be a way for me to make sure I’m being present. A way for me document what I know and what I’m learning as I go. Writing things out has always helped me & my hope is that this helps someone else, too.

So if you like traveling, dogs, babies, traveling with dogs and babies – or maybe you just want to feel like you aren’t the only one trying to figure things out as you go – you’re in the right place.

“I have no doubt the day is coming when you will be wiser or better informed or more highly skilled than you are now, but you will never be more ready to begin writing than you are right this minute.”
~ Stephen Koch